I am trying to love myself in a world where I am not enough
But in the next breath I am told I’m actually just too much
A world where it seems insincere when I’m positive and sunny
A world where if I’m being quiet, I’m asked why aren’t you being funny
A world where I had my first kiss at 12 which I stopped when he touched my boob
A world where 12-year-old me apologised to him for ruining the mood
A world where I’m called a bitch when I’m humorous and witty
A world where I am often told if I lost some weight, I’d actually be quite pretty
A world where it seems a safe space is impossible to find
A world where you can trust no one, not even your own mind
A world where self-worth and confidence seem like something to fear
A world where I make resolutions and break them at the start of the new year
A world where I feel exhausted and run down and always on the go
A world where I constantly say sorry and feel bad for saying no
So I have decided to just be who I am, exist and try my best
And give my weary mind, body and my bruised heart some very much needed rest.